Pole Position Raceway Las Vegas Helping Family In Need!

We had another amazing company help our family out.  This time it was by giving us a much needed family night!  Pole Position Raceway invited us to come and drive a few laps around their course.  The kiddos were able to do it twice!  It was so much fun!  I was able to race once, too.  It was so awesome!  It made me happy to be doing something exciting again!

I absolutely love adventures, traveling, the great outdoors, new experiences....  Most of all I love to share it with my kids.  To see their faces light up with excitement is absolute joy to my soul.  Tuesday night was just that.  As shy as my kiddos were they were very excited to get in and try it out!  Gracie is a bit too short still but thankfully she was able to play arcade games with Ashley, James's girlfriend.  She is such a sweetheart and Gracie really likes her.

The next day I was down in bed for most of the day.  It was no surprise.  Having a day with too much excitement will put me out for a while.  Having a day with excitement AND go cart driving....  Well, Let's just say I am thankful I only raced once.  I wasn't prepared for the pain I was going to be in.  I haven't taken a pain pill in a long time....  I had to.  I have gained a new level of pain tolerance....  But not that much!  Two days later it was worse.  Last night I was completely down in bed because of my neck pain.  It still hurts but at least I can sit up now.  I have been on pain pills since and can tell that it is wearing off now.  Yea me!

Well, Yesterday was tough emotionally for me.  I barely could get up to do anything and I was asked to do two things...  ALL DAY.  So as I tried to so the first thing my neck froze.  I still had to pick up the kids from school.  I called my hubby and thankfully he took over.  I can tell you I was a mess.  I don't usually have moments of weakness like that.  I am great at keeping it together and pushing through.  All the advice was great and I knew it all too well.  I just overflowed my bucket and it all came out.  My phone was completely dead...  It wouldn't charge anymore.  So I couldn't call anyone.  Grace finally found the emergency phone so I could call Bryan....  but after that I just decided to let it all go.  I wasn't depressed or sad...  I was SO MAD!!!  I was so tired of being helpless. Sometimes a girl just needs a good cry.  After I exhausted all my strength from the drama I knew I had to pick myself back up and keep going.  Well, I couldn't get up until the next day!!!  So I worked on family history until I passed out.  (I have this new app from Ancestry.com and it's great!!!)

Oh, and my good friend Ammie came over and dropped off some very yummy treats for us.  I now have a great gluten free stash for just me.  OK, I might share....  if there is any left over!!  HA HA!  It was good to talk to her again.  Besides Church and my presidency meetings I really don't socialize much.  It was SERIOUSLY great to talk to her again.  I miss my friends.

Anyhow, they shot a video of our evening...  Check it out!

Pole Position Raceway Las Vegas Helping Family In Need!

Major Dilemma

Tonight my dilemma is pain pills or sleep pills.  Oils aren't working...  Heating pad is nice but doesn't do it.  Music/ ambience is not zoning me out enough.   Augh.  It's times like this i become maddened by the pain.  Especially in the silence of the night.  I have had too many sleepless nights from this.  

Most of the nights this happens I wait out the lonely hours hoping to eventually fall asleep...  However some nights I never do.  I try really hard to keep my sleeping schedule on track.  Lack of sleep is a Lymie's worst nightmare.  By that I mean healing and restoring.  Your body actually accomplishes a lot when you sleep.  It heals, regenerates, recharges and de-stresses the body.  To someone with Lyme disease it can be difficult to deal with the typical symptoms if sleep is not regulated and the body cannot get what it so desperately needs.  

I have always been big on sleep.  My husband and kids know that this momma needs her sleep.  I am not very functional with only a few hours of it.  I have always been this way.  I absolutely love naps, resting and enjoying quiet time to recharge for a bit.  Before I enjoyed them because I was a busy body who always had things to do so it was a rarity to take a break.  I would get up and work my butt off till bed time and look forward to the Sabbath when I really could rest!  I've always had a difficult time making time for myself because I was so busy.  Lately my naps, resting and quiet time have been a way of replenishing spoons or reserving them for a big event like going to church.  

This is now frustrating to me because I have days where I feel like I can own the day and do all that I need to do.  Mostly there are now days where I lie in bed or on the couch thinking of what I should be doing.  There are even days where nothing will happen...  Not even waking up.  If you watched our families first Just Perfect video, my not waking up is just a part of what my hubby talks about.  I would be so "gone" or out of it that he would come and shock on me to make sure I was still breathing.

Through all of this I have learned to delegate.  Biggest lesson of my life...  Delegate the care of my kids, my home, my chores, my calling, my responsibilities...  The list goes on.   I have learned how to let go of things.  Time management is a huge lesson as well.  If I'm feeling well, I am trying to do only what I cannot delegate.  If I'm sick or unwell I have a list of things to do that I can accomplish in bed.  Then there is my let it go list.  It goes a bit like this:

If it's not important to our eternal progression...  LET IT GO!!!

That includes, chores, callings, homework on some nights, errands, "fancy" dinners, getting dressed today, children's entertainment, my entertainment, outings, date nights, visits to the grocery store... (btw, I haven't been in one for over a month at least!) you name it....  I drop it.  It's just not worth the stress on my family or myself.  

Simple life...  Makes me think I'm living in the wrong city!  Las Vegas may be known for its easy life but I can assure you it's not easy at all.  And can be super stressful in my opinion!  Then again...  I have been wanting a change of scenery for almost 15 years now!  Maybe even longer!

Anyhow!  I need to distract myself from this.  It's insane! 

So as I lay here listening to my puppy hiccup...  It's so cute!  I am reminded of a book a friend purchased for me to help with all this...  I think I shall read it tonight!  It's going to be a looooooooong night.  Good night ya'll.

Surprise Food Drop to a Melissa & her Family

This was a complete surprise and I have to say I was thankful I was dressed decently when they arrived!!  Haha!!  I was supposed to be going to the Temple with my husband to support dear friends of ours and I couldn't go.  I didn't change out of my clothes and to fight the depression from not being able to go I went to work on my home.  I really over did it and think it may be part of why last Sunday was such a hard day for me.  I crashed for almost a day and a half after all the cleaning I did!  

Back to the food story...!  When they came to the door I had no idea what was in the boxes.  Then the second batch had food showing and a lot of non-food items as well...  Let's just say I was humbled.  Humbled at all the love and outpouring support our family received that day.  From people we had never met.

Every day we open our pantry and are reminded of the support and blessings that we have in our lives.  We are now able to save quite a bit of money to place towards treatments.  I will be placing a percentage of our "grocery" budget to my fund.  It is an awesome feeling to know that we may reach our goal soon.

I really hope in 2015 to be able to take the 8 weeks to go to Arizona and receive treatments that I very much need.  I am still working on a post about why I am fundraising.  I haven't had too many active or clear-minded days recently, so please be patient with me.  Juggling my kids, family, church calling, my health, (which is trying hard to be up and about more than 6 to 8 hours a day,) a fundraiser, and trying to help with homework...  (which is a BIG task with 3 kids and one in home preschool,) oh, and a husband who is starting to travel again....  I AM OVERWHELMED!

Needless to say I am impressed with the timing of the food delivery and the tough day I had on Saturday.  Thank you again to Ashley Chau, Calvin Tran, Christine, Lucas, and Dan Warren for their generous offerings to our family!  We also, thank the Just Perfect team for all they are doing for us!  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!!!!

Take a look at the video and please share it with your friends!  Thanks in advance to everyone for sharing.

Local Pizza Place Helps a Family in Need

What a surprise this was to our family when we learned that Peter Soltesz at Joe's New Your Pizza had offered our family dinner and a chance to get out and forget about Lyme for just a bit.  I have to say that it is tough for me to go anywhere.  I must reserve my energy before and most of the times after I am still out for the next day or two.  This evening was perfect!!!  Well, almost.   I want so badly to forget about Lyme.  It is hard to when I am not always feeling up to it...  Watch the video and see what I mean.  I really had no idea they were filming me when this happened and to see it from outside looks scary.  Going through it is not easy and to think I used to be like this a lot.  I have been on treatments here in town but it is not enough.  Getting more extensive treatments won't cure my Lyme disease but it should give me many more years in between.  Knowing I may have to do the extensive treatments at all is tough to think of, but I have to.  I won't give up and let this slowly take my life from me.

Anyhow, enjoy the video and please share it!!

Blogger frustrations!

Three posts....  Three posts are missing.  My phone shows them as saving, (seems to be frozen that way,) and nothing online.  Argh!  I will see if I can recover and get them posted.  Sorry guys!!

Family night out!!

Our family had a wonderful opportunity to have a night out at an amazing pizza place!  The owner was so kind to offer us a meal for the whole family!  It was delish!

I almost made it through the evening without any issues.  I was sitting at the table with my husband and kids when all of a sudden I started to go numb.  My whole body lost sensation and I started to black out.  My whole body was weak.  I felt a huge amount of pressure in my upper back and it was scary.  I don't remember to much else... just that my husband was sitting next to me holding me up.  It happened earlier today and must be a new symptom but I'm glad I had my hubby to help out.

In spite of my embarrassing moment we had SO much fun!!  The kids were very excited!   We don't get to go out at all these days.

Thanks to our new friend, James, for all his help for our family!  We have met such kind and generous people! 

Good times!

Frustration and Lyme

I just took my daughter to school and I am back in bed.  I am loosing my spoons.  The last two weeks have been one crazy roller coaster ride.  Even though I am off my IV antibiotics this oral Doxycycline is the pits.  It seems to be doing the job of killing the bacteria because I am herxing worse.  I take it twice a day and for some reason I feel toxic 24/7. 

I am so frustrated lately.  Today is one of those bucket is overflowing, but not of grateful things.  I want my old life back.  I want my old self back. 

 

I attended a funeral Monday night and I couldn't help think that I am still alive and should be thankful for that.  My Lyme was caught, diagnosed and treated before it could do further damage.  I should be grateful...  I am, its just hard to keep up the positive- I can overcome this- attitude when I feel like this nonstop.

This past Sunday my beautiful primary children at church had a presentation where they shared what they have been taught all year.  I skipped my treatments the night before and morning of so I wouldn't be so fatigue.  It helped a bit and I pushed through the day.  I was actually quite proud of myself! 

...............

(I just paused to think of something and fell asleep!)

I just woke up at 1pm.  I never took the boys to school.  Couldn't wake up to do it.  My whole body hurts and my limbs have been numb for almost an hour.  My chest is in pain and feels like its being crushed.  I thankfully can walk today but hurt all over.  I can barely eat and feel so sick.  My head is going to explode and my ears hurt so bad.

I was warned that the cooler weather would bring symptoms back for my rheumatoid arthritis...  Yea.

Emotionally I am struggling.  I have to admit, it is hard to be strong...  I do it for the kids and for myself.  I have a lot of responsibilities and I can't give up.  Some days are good but most are bad.  Today is very rough and when emotionally you don't feel strong enough it makes it a million times harder. 

I am so frustrated!!  I don't know how I am ever going to overcome this if I can't see a doctor out side of Vegas.  A friend of mine's daughter has Lyme and sees the same doctor as me.  They are a few steps ahead and are also looking out of state.  Band-aid approaches are not the answer.  Lyme is taking our quality of life away.  I have little family life, very little socialization with friends, (if any @ church,) and really no life of my own at all.  I use all my "spoons" to my responsibilities and leave none for me.  Its driving me crazy!

I am completely sure that on Mother's day this year I lost a friend already from texting while on heavy pain meds...  They should put a warning on prescription bottles!!  And who knows how many others think I have abandoned them or gave up on our friendships...  This is not the case.  My mind is degrading and my body wins most of the time and I shut down.

I just keep praying, and crying out to the Lord to help me find the answers I need or to help me raise enough money to get treated properly.  If I didn't know I had Lyme disease I would be in the hospital right now...  But its pointless.  They can't do anything for it that I'm not already doing or they don't know how to treat it. 

I feel useless, pointless, a huge burden to my family and feel like if it weren't for my kids I would have given up a long time ago. 

This is a hard battle.  So very hard.  To have to be strong emotionally every day.  Just to get my kids off to school every morning makes me drained for hours.

I was a very busy body and loved to work outside on my yard.  I used to be a very active stay home mom and played so much with my kids.  Now I curl my daughter's hair and I have to nap for 3 hours.  Today I took a shower AND took my daughter to school...  That drained me and I ended up not taking the boys to school because I passed out until 1pm. 

I want so bad to go on a road trip with my family to forget it all.  I want to hike, swim, window shop, have girls nights out, play a sport, play with my kids, attend more than just Sunday church meetings, to have a real date night with my hubby, to be able to do house work with out it knocking me down for hours.  I am so frustrated.

I will keep on going, hoping for a funding miracle...  A cure would be nice but we all know how that is.  I have to say that I am thankful that so far I have been able to give advice to at least 4 others about Lyme disease.  It is great to know that I can still help others.  It gives me another purpose for all of this.  I was diagnosed with Celiac's disease 15 years ago...  I vowed to help others with it.  I was diagnosed a few years ago with clinical depression...  I vowed to help others but have not been as vocal.  Now that I have Lyme and know it could be the cause of my clinical depression...  I am not going to be quiet any more.  I am an extreme introvert and am happy to be at home in my own little world.  So all of this Lyme awareness is a new venture for me.  To be out in the public I have only one desire, (ok, two, besides wanting better treatment,) is to help others.  The more we can help each other the better.  It is how I can be an instrument in the Lords hands through this ravishing disease.  

How Lyme Disease Changed One Family - The Story of Melissa

Our family is very blessed to be a part of this amazing new company.  To be their first video of many!  We recorded a lot and we had a lot of fun!  The company Just Perfect did a wonderful job putting this together. I am so thankful for their support and all they have done for our family.  Thank you a million times over!  We hope it will bring others to your site and will help many more individuals or families in need get a bit of help and hope as you have given us...  THANKS!!

Amy Tan, the immune system and much research...

Did you know that the author of the Joy Luck Club has Lyme Disease?  Amy Tan has been fighting it for years and it is great to have someone with influence spread awareness and share their story about this disease.  I have her link below about her story so you can read it yourself.

https://www.amytan.net/lyme-disease.html

I feel as if I can relate to her story more than most, although every Lyme patient is different.  Some are asymptomatic for decades without knowing there is an underlying disease in the body, waiting for the right moment to flourish.  When a traumatic events occurs to the body your immune system is compromised and will lower in numbers.  For example:

1. Death of loved one

2. Car accident

3. Freezing temperatures

4. Child Birth

5. Loss of a job or major source of income
6. Divorce or separation
7. Strenuous Job

The physical and emotional stress, (see the list below,)  from these can cause Lyme to unleash and attack the body almost over night.  Symptoms can be debilitating and increase drastically as the Lyme bacteria continues to attack parts of the immune system allowing it to multiply and spread through out EVERY part of the body.  Although these stresses are common, there are other factors in disrupting the Immune System.  

Most highly ranked immune system distruptors are:

1. Oxidative Stress

2. Toxic Stress

3. Physical Stress

4. Emotional Stress

5. Radiation

6. Poor Nutrition.

Oxidative Stress has been brought up to me time and time again.  Many companies sell the stuff and I am a bit skeptical.  Keep reading to see what I have discovered about these "friendly foes."

What are free radicals, oxidative stress and antioxidants?

Merriam-Webster Defines

Free Radical :  an especially reactive atom or group of atoms that has one or more unpaired electrons; especially :  one that is produced in the body by natural biological processes or introduced from an outside source (as tobacco smoke, toxins, or pollutants) and that can damage cells, proteins, and DNA by altering their chemical structure

Oxidative Stress: physiological stress on the body that is caused by the cumulative damage done by free radicals inadequately neutralized by antioxidants and that is held to be associated with aging

Antioxidants: any of various substances (as beta-carotene, vitamin C, and alpha-tocopherol) that inhibit oxidation or reactions promoted by oxygen and peroxides and that include many held to protect the living body from the deleterious effects of free radicals

Damage to the Cells...

Antioxidants saving the day!

Internal Factors that create oxidative stress are:

1. During normal metabolism of fat, carbohydrates and proteins in the body.
2. The oxidization process that takes place within the cholesterol. 

3. Heavy metals in the body. They are mercury, calcium, aluminium, lead, chlorine, iron, cadmium, and sometimes copper.
4. The primary source of free radicals is from the body, during the process of energy production within the cells. However, 98% of the oxygen we breathe is used for the production of energy within our cells.  The ensuing effect of this energy producing activity is that a very small amount of unused oxygen loses electrons creating free radicals.

External factors that create oxidative stress are:

1. Stress

2. Poor Diet

3. Excessive Alcohol

4. Lack of Sleep

5. Obesity

6. Lack of Exercise

7. Medications

8. Lack of Hygiene

9. Radiation Exposure

10. Smoking

11. Dehydration

Positive Aspects:

Not all free radicals are entirely bad for health and they are indispensable for good health.  They are actually quite helpful in many of the body’s natural functions.

1. Free radicals, such as nitric oxide and superoxide, produced naturally within the body are utilized by the white blood cells to poison bacteria and virus-infected cells.

2. Free radicals are produced by the body to aid in the metabolic processes, such as digestion and the conversion of food into energy.

3. Free radicals control the flow of blood through the veins and arteries.

4. Free Radicals have the ability of keeping the mind sharp and focused thus preventing Alzheimer’s

5. Some free radicals have the ability to kill cancer cells.  In fact, the function of many cancer drugs is to increase the production of free radicals in the body for this very purpose.

6. Others are involved in producing vital hormones and activating enzymes that are needed for life.

So what do I gather from all of this?  I haven't a full clue!!  HA HA!  I am choosing to try Protandim for a month and will continue my research in the Lyme community concerning free radicals, oxidative stress and antioxidants.  It seems to be very important but even with PubMed's findings I am still not sure.  (Mostly because I cannot understand the reports...  I speak human not medical terminology!!!)  

I have lots more to research including diet, meditating, exercise, sleep, and many other things to promote a healthy Lyme Life-style.  Until then....!!!

Doxycycline

Finally brave enough to start my second part of treatments.  Doxycycline twice a day.  Let's kill us some Lyme!