Sinus Surgery and Lyme battles

First four weeks of the new year down and I have done well so far!  I have shredded three kitchen trash bags full of paper, sorted out my whole room, and started donating more of our unused things.  Considering I was down for almost two weeks of that to recover from surgery, I'm pretty much on a good track!

My surgery went well.  The results came back unexpected but noting that would never resemble cancer so for that I'm grateful!  It did show Cholesterol Granulomas and they will more than likely come back.  They are usually in the spaces of the inner ear so for mine to be in the maxillary sinus I was a "rare case study" to look up.  I'm not looking forward to that again and hope it won't be for many years to come if at all.  That was NOT fun.  I was on pain pills for a solid 5 days.  I took myself off of them and only used them if I couldn't deal any more with the pain.  I have refilled my Rx but haven't used any more yet.  I almost did today, but I braved it out because I had places to be.

My calling at church is going well...  I don't feel I do enough and tomorrow plan to reorganize my next 6  months to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.  I need to restart myself...  Reading scripture s every day and studying them.  My prayers need to increase and so does my temple attendance.  I need all the help I can in my calling and I don't mean just spiritual.  If it weren't for my amazing presidency, I would be lost.  They are my rocks.  I can count on each one and they go above and beyond without asking.  I used to be upset at myself for not thinking of the things they do, but I have to remember my brain is not what it was since last October.  Neither are my cognitive skills, my reaction times and my ability to jump back and answer quickly to questions.  

I am anxious for summer and warmer weather.  My body aches consistently and my headaches are nonstop.  My fatigue levels are high and my sanity is low.   It is so difficult to explain the mindset of chronic pain.  It can be so "dark" when you are at a higher pain level but knowing that it will pass is really what gets me through.  I know for sure it's when I do my most praying.

I am going back to see my Infectious Disease doctor on Wednesday and then we will decide where to go with this round of treatments.  My guess is we won't go to a IV at first and will try oral antibiotics with blood work and a bit more testing to make sure I don't have any other secondary infections.  I really am hoping to go against the PICC line....  Having to go in EVERY day by myself for 20 minutes, (yes, it could be worse!,) is really annoying especially when the drive is 20-25 minutes one way.  I will deal with whatever comes and cannot wait until I am back on track.

This time I did not last long in between treatments because my immune system dropped.  We have had employment issues, a death in the family, a pending move based on our landlords status with the home, and my heart and health issues.  All of this plus the stress from the holidays and life in general with 4 children has allowed Lyme to take over again.

This time it's different.  I know what it is and how to work the "Spoon Theory" into my daily life.  I know how to rest and save energy for upcoming days and I know how to plan for recovery days.  I also have learned to delegate and always have a back up plan for everything in case I am "out" for the day unexpectedly.

I have lots to do for my fundraising, since I have not lifted a finger since before the holidays.  I am going to update my GoFundMe page and eliminate Envita.  It will never happen.  I believe they are too expensive anyway.  I just really liked what they had to offer.  So it made me think.  I can offer some of that in my own home with a few minor adjustments.  The plan for now is to purchase a RIFE machine and hopefully an ozone sauna.  Once we buy our own home I can look into an infrared sauna and a few other essentials.

I am excited for February and what I have planned in store.   It may not seem like a lot to you, but to me it is.  Here is to month 2!!!

Spiritual promptings

Three entries in one day! 

As I am lying here at almost 11pm, I can't help but feel a bit down from how hard today was to bare.  I had to skip my presidency meeting.  It really was an emotional time for me.  I am so excited to get back to something normal again.  Even when I discontinue the IV meds I will still have to take it one day at a time to bring my activity back to what it used to be. 

I still have to have my sinus polyps removed and that's another week to two weeks rest.  I cannot have the surgery until my immune system is stable and I am a lot stronger.  I may wait until after my birthday in October so I can have a break.  My ENT said to me back in January to keep looking into why I'm sick but to not wait longer than 3 months before I have them removed...  Well, that wasn't possible.  So hopefully they haven't grown.  We are about 90% sure they will be benign.  Either way, a biopsy will be performed before the surgery... Both requiring me to go under anesthesia in the hospital.  My immune system must be be strong enough for the recovery.  Also, all areas of the head, especially the nose/sinus region are major bleeders.  That's why I must be better, especially with a low white, red and platelet count. 

So, back to me having an emotionally hard time today.  It was the hardest missing our meeting.  It is SO frustrating not being able to go.  I want to be there very badly.  I know I have an amazing group of sisters in the primary with me and are running the show while I am gone.  They are amazing.  I am truly thankful to each one...  I am inspired, blessed, and feel the love each one has for their calling.  I am nothing as a president without them. 

As I lay in my bed, wishing I was there at the chapel instead of here in pain...  I said a little sobby heart-felt prayer.  Nothing big or formal, just a plead to Heavenly Father.  I really needed cheering up.  All I asked for was that my great friend stop by after the meeting to say hi.

After I pleaded this I was swept up in mommy duties, (which was basically me telling my younger two to stop being loud and playing on my bed since it was making things worse for me,) and never thought to call her to ask to come see me.

My husband was picking up the older two from their church activities and they always beat daddy to the door, knocking on the window.  I hear a knock and tell my younger two to let in their brother and sister.  My daughter yells out, "Mom!  It's your meeting!"  I'm thinking she is crazy and I ask her who is it.  She repeats her original response and I then say it must  e someone from the meeting or from church.  Thankfully it was because one of my two opened the door.  (Yikes!)

It was a prayer answered!  There from my bed I could hear my friends voice!  I couldn't believe it!  I yelled out for her to come into the bedroom.  During our conversation she told me that she had drove toward here but didn't have anything to bring me so she kept going past.  She aslo expanded that something made her turn around and stop by anyway....  (can you see the tears in my eyes right now!)

I am thankful for so many blessings in our lives.  More importantly I am blessed that I have so many friends who act upon the small promptings of the spirit.  We all are truly instrumental is Gods work and are one way God answers our prayers.  This prayer was small but big to me.  Very big. 
I pray that I may always live my life that I may be in tune to the promptings of the spirit so I may help answer the prayers of His children.  He truly does hear us!