Today makes it 6 weeks. I should be happy. But I feel horrible... again. The last two weeks were so much better! Then BAM! Back to how I felt before treatments... NO, it's even worse. I'm not even on the Tindamax right now. This is ridiculous.
Monday I met with the Doctor's PA, Stephanie. She is great. I really love her. We went over test results. Only one thing changed from the previous week... My white blood cells are dropping. I can only be on the Rocephin another week and will have to give my body a break. I will infuse next Monday and will just maintain my PICC line at home for a week. Then we can see if I have any flare ups and can decide what path to take next.
I have been trying to put together something for my fundraiser but my brain is not cooperating. I cannot function and the pain is unreal. I am trying to focus on breathing while listening to soothing music. I am not sleeping well again. My appetite is shot. I really want to give up or crawl in a hole and give in. I know I won't... Just having a moment of weakness.
My kids have been home from school sick. All of them. We are having problems in this house and for some reason our family has never been sicker than the 2 years we have lived here. I think it is either in the air ducts or we have another rodent issue. It's embarrassing to me to think maybe some of this could have been prevented if I was just well enough to do something about it... or maybe not. My house is a disaster, the children run wild, (when they're not sick,) and nothing is in order. It's too much for me right now.
Anyhow, It's taking me too long to type this. I need to go lay down if I'm going to keep this broth down. I feel like I'm about to pass a kidney stone again... Lovely.
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