Sinus Surgery and Lyme battles

First four weeks of the new year down and I have done well so far!  I have shredded three kitchen trash bags full of paper, sorted out my whole room, and started donating more of our unused things.  Considering I was down for almost two weeks of that to recover from surgery, I'm pretty much on a good track!

My surgery went well.  The results came back unexpected but noting that would never resemble cancer so for that I'm grateful!  It did show Cholesterol Granulomas and they will more than likely come back.  They are usually in the spaces of the inner ear so for mine to be in the maxillary sinus I was a "rare case study" to look up.  I'm not looking forward to that again and hope it won't be for many years to come if at all.  That was NOT fun.  I was on pain pills for a solid 5 days.  I took myself off of them and only used them if I couldn't deal any more with the pain.  I have refilled my Rx but haven't used any more yet.  I almost did today, but I braved it out because I had places to be.

My calling at church is going well...  I don't feel I do enough and tomorrow plan to reorganize my next 6  months to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.  I need to restart myself...  Reading scripture s every day and studying them.  My prayers need to increase and so does my temple attendance.  I need all the help I can in my calling and I don't mean just spiritual.  If it weren't for my amazing presidency, I would be lost.  They are my rocks.  I can count on each one and they go above and beyond without asking.  I used to be upset at myself for not thinking of the things they do, but I have to remember my brain is not what it was since last October.  Neither are my cognitive skills, my reaction times and my ability to jump back and answer quickly to questions.  

I am anxious for summer and warmer weather.  My body aches consistently and my headaches are nonstop.  My fatigue levels are high and my sanity is low.   It is so difficult to explain the mindset of chronic pain.  It can be so "dark" when you are at a higher pain level but knowing that it will pass is really what gets me through.  I know for sure it's when I do my most praying.

I am going back to see my Infectious Disease doctor on Wednesday and then we will decide where to go with this round of treatments.  My guess is we won't go to a IV at first and will try oral antibiotics with blood work and a bit more testing to make sure I don't have any other secondary infections.  I really am hoping to go against the PICC line....  Having to go in EVERY day by myself for 20 minutes, (yes, it could be worse!,) is really annoying especially when the drive is 20-25 minutes one way.  I will deal with whatever comes and cannot wait until I am back on track.

This time I did not last long in between treatments because my immune system dropped.  We have had employment issues, a death in the family, a pending move based on our landlords status with the home, and my heart and health issues.  All of this plus the stress from the holidays and life in general with 4 children has allowed Lyme to take over again.

This time it's different.  I know what it is and how to work the "Spoon Theory" into my daily life.  I know how to rest and save energy for upcoming days and I know how to plan for recovery days.  I also have learned to delegate and always have a back up plan for everything in case I am "out" for the day unexpectedly.

I have lots to do for my fundraising, since I have not lifted a finger since before the holidays.  I am going to update my GoFundMe page and eliminate Envita.  It will never happen.  I believe they are too expensive anyway.  I just really liked what they had to offer.  So it made me think.  I can offer some of that in my own home with a few minor adjustments.  The plan for now is to purchase a RIFE machine and hopefully an ozone sauna.  Once we buy our own home I can look into an infrared sauna and a few other essentials.

I am excited for February and what I have planned in store.   It may not seem like a lot to you, but to me it is.  Here is to month 2!!!

2015 Day 1

Woke up today amongst friends and family.  It was our 3rd time attending the overnight New Years Party at our dear friends home.  We are so thankful to have such wonderful friends!  Our children get along so well and it's always good to catch up.  This time our gathering was more of a distraction from life.  Whatever you call it we enjoyed our friends company.  My kiddos especially love having a sleepover with their cousins so it makes it even better for them.  

During the night we wrote on wish paper and lit them away.  It was fun and a special memory I know we will all remember.  Especially once I upload the pics!  My sweet children wished away.  My youngest for her to always be happy and no one is mad.  My youngest son, to play the Xbox 360.  The other one wasn't interested in taking part, like daddy.  And my oldest wish just broke my heart.  She wished for a cure for Lyme disease.  Poor kiddo.  She is sweet and needs wishes of her own.  Not worries for her mothers health.  She has seen me become sick since she was 10. She has known of all the doctors visits I have been to to find out what's wrong with me.  Hospital visits, road trips to doctors in other states, days spent collapsed on the couch or in bed from fighting exhaustion too long.  She sees me take my pile of daily pills and knows I'm still not better from the things I just can't do anymore.  She feels the stress from it and I wish I could lessen it for her.  I try so hard not to complain anymore and tough out my fatigue and pain....  She just knows me too well.  Such a bright kid.  If she were younger it may have been easier for her, to never know anything different, or to hide it from her better.  (It also doesn't help when you find out that her school had her doing a plague project on Lyme disease.) 

As the first day of the new year drew near to an end we arrived home and I walked into our mess.  This last year has shown in my home.  New pets, new toys, new clothes, new stuff and nothing has left.  My New Years resolutions are to be a minimalist.  Live with less.  Get rid of 70% of our things and use only what we NEED to survive.  Well, there will be a bit more than that kept but I can not imagine next year if this doesn't stop now.  It's ridiculous!!!  I never imagined my home so full of things that I am responsible for taking care of.  I am considering a yard sale but I don't know where to put all the stuff in the meantime before I sell it.  My garage is my hubby's domain and it is x10 worse than inside!  I can barely get to my washer, dryer and deep freezer...  It's insane!  

Well, I am ready to go and once I awake I'm starting with laundry and taking down Christmas.  I need to go through that, too.  Christmas bins full of weird crap that I don't use...  For why?  Silly girl!  I am going to stop at these two until my surgery recovery is over.  Then it's on to one room at a time.  I'm so excited I can't even sleep!!  Maybe I will reward myself with a fresh coat of paint in the master bedroom's accent wall.  That is if we don't move soon! Sheesh, I hope not.  At least it will be easier to pack!